WHY SAYING ‘GOOD JOB’ ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH

Some trending way to say GOOD JOB

If you're a parent, teacher, or even just someone who’s spent five minutes with a child, chances are you’ve said: “Good job!”

It’s the go-to phrase. It's quick, easy, and sounds encouraging. But here’s a thought — is it actually helping the child grow?

Surprisingly, not always.

The Problem with “Good Job” on Repeat

When we say “Good job” too often, it becomes background noise — like saying “Hi” or “Okay.” It loses meaning. But more importantly, it shifts the child’s focus from what they did to what we think about it.

Over time, children may begin to seek approval rather than value the task itself. They might think:

"I want to draw so I get praised,” instead of "I want to draw because I enjoy it.”

The Brain Behind the Praise

Psychologists like Carol Dweck have found that how we praise children influences how they see themselves. Generic praise like "Good job" can lead to a fixed mindset — where kids begin to believe their worth depends on constant validation.

On the other hand, specific, effort-based praise helps build a growth mindset — where kids value learning, effort, and persistence.

Try to notice what exactly your child did well and tell them that. Here are some easy swaps:

• Instead of: “Good job!”

Try: “I noticed how carefully you stayed inside the lines with your colors.”

• Instead of: “You’re so smart!”

Try: “You really thought hard about how to solve that puzzle — that was creative!”

• Instead of: “That’s beautiful!”

Try: “I love how you mixed blue and yellow to make green. What made you try that?”

This kind of feedback shifts focus to effort, process, and curiosity.

But What If I'm Just Tired and Want to Say 'Good Job'?

Fair. Parenting is no performance — it's life.

There's nothing wrong with saying "Good job." It’s still kind, still supportive. But sprinkling in more thoughtful, descriptive praise now and then can go a long way in helping children feel seen for who they are and not just what they do.

Final Thought: Children Are Not Praise Machines

They're little humans trying to make sense of the world. When we notice them — truly see them — we give them more than just praise. We give them the confidence to grow, explore, and love learning — with or without applause.

So next time, pause before the usual “Good job,” and try something a little deeper. You might be surprised how much they light up when you do.

-Shivani Sarin